Only a few dozen people are lining up for the Car Flu vaccine, despite the fact that in Canada almost 3,000 people died and over 110,000 were injured in car accidents last year. On top of this an estimated 16,000 die each year from car pollution. In response, health authorities are issuing a red alert and are pleading that people get vaccinated for the Car Flu, also known as C1N1. People seem to be ignoring these warnings though.

Many doctors think that this is foolish. H1N1 is nothing compared to C1N1, for the Swine Flu has only killed 86 people thus far. People are freaked out about only the Swine Flu despite being 30 times more likely to get C1N1. Dr. Billy Thompson thinks that pigs scare people more than cars and asked whether the Car Flu should be renamed?

Many are steaming mad that they have had to wait up to four hours in line for the H1N1 vaccine. Line rage is almost out of control. People are getting tired of others budding and saving spots for their entourage of friends. One senior, who had waited in line in the cold for 3 hours, lost it. She had enough and pulled out a gun and promptly parked herself at the beginning of the line. She got off lightly, with only a warning from police, because she blamed her out of character behaviour on the side effects of her meds.

The Car Flu vaccine line up on the other of the road was virtually nonexistent. Symptoms such as road rage, a lighter wallet, pollution, high taxes, obesity, injury and death don’t seem to be taken as seriously as the Swine Flu. Many were disappointed that the Car Flu vaccine was really just a bus pass too. “I’m not taking the bus, I could get H1N1,” said Tracy McBool as she boarded a packed airplane.

The car company lobby was out in full force yesterday. They say C1N1 is just a smear campaign against cars. “You are less likely to get Swine Flu if you drive alone,” said a spokesman from the car lobby. Local Jimmy Buff concurred, “I am not scared of C1N1, for my large SUV will protect me.”

Premier Ed Stelmach, who drives a truck, was also unconcerned about C1N1. “I feel invincible in my Ford 150 truck (with a Hemi),” said Stelmach.  He further stated that C1N1 is just a conspiracy concocted by the bus industry, with the full backing of the unions and pinkos like NDP leader Brian Mason, a former bus driver himself.

So the cat is out of the bag, the C1N1 is just health officials trying to whip the public into a hysteria. Obviously we just need to put things into proper perspective and get on with it. Therefore the health authorities are stating that we can calmly go back to being stuck in traffic and getting into car accidents on our way to the clinic, to wait hours in line for the Swine Flu vaccine.